To My Right Love at the Wrong Time:

I'm not sure if I could consider you, but let me.

We shared a love that's real and pure, but never had the chance to come together and celebrate. You still have an exalted place in my heart and in my life, even. My thoughts of you whenever I try to fall asleep just floats on the surface and my mind plays with its ability to imagine, a possible future with you in a parallel universe.

God, it's devastating.
Let me tell you what hurts.
Nobody cheated.
We didn't go through a terrible breakup
            we didn't have anything to break in the first place.
For some reason, it just did not go its natural course.
Maybe I had to go on with my life because we did not seem to be taking the path I thought we should.
Maybe you did too.
Oh, probably because we both thought we weren't taking the road to our common goal.

We never really found out why. It just ended, for circumstances other than falling out of love.

What ended?
I am without certainty.
Did we really try?
I don't think so.
What if we did?
I don't know.
My regrets are eating me, why didn't I initiate?
I want to blame you, why didn't you take the risk?

Nevertheless, I still think you're a wonderful person. Please don't belittle yourself. I'd always have much respect for you. Let's not make the past a bad memory, but rather a lesson to be learned continuously. You're still a good person and I believe I am too. But maybe, just maybe, we're not good for each other.

One Day, You'll Look Back And Wonder (I Hope)

Thank you for showing me my worth,
       for reminding me I should never settle for less than what I deserve.
Thank you for helping me know myself better and what I really want in life.
Thank you for making me realize that life is too short for love to be mediocre.
I deserve someone who would see the good in me,
                someone who would rejoice and be glad with my uniqueness.

But still, I want to thank you for all the things you've done for me and for all the memories we have made. I don't regret spending my precious time with a being like you. I know deep down I've spent good times and not wasted them. To me, you're still wonderful but I just hope you'll soon realize what you've lost.

I hope you can see you messed up for letting a girl like me slip away; someone who would've done anything for you -- aside from breaking my convictions on sex. Even not today, tomorrow, or the following year, even if it takes 10-20 years, I hope that one day, you will look back and regret that decision you made even just a bit. One day, when someone asks you what you regret in this life, I hope my name would pop in your mind. Even if I don't top the list but I hope I'll be on the list. I hope you regret not being vulnerable with me. I hope you regret not staying at home while watching movies with me or trekking mountains with me or stargazing or bungee jumping with me. But I also hope that one day, you'll meet someone who would teach you the things you taught me. I hope you meet the person that is worth letting your walls down for.

I hope she gives you all that you want and need, all the things I could not give. I hope she can be someone I couldn't be for you. Maybe she'll be more willing to follow your rules to not do this and that, and to spoil you a bit when asking for this and that. Maybe she'll be more willing to settle down with you for the rest of her life. Maybe she can be someone whom you can bring home at NYE and your family would instantly like or love her. I'm sorry I could not be that for you. But I don't want you to live your life full of regrets.

Maybe it's true, love isn't always enough. We might loved each other truly, madly, and deeply -- or at least I did -- but it does not seem to be enough. Maybe we loved each other but our differences couldn't find any way to settle. Maybe we weren't compatible. Like what we know, some things are not meant to work out and I guess we have no choice. I'm finally okay with that, I'm happy now but if ever we get a second chance, know that it is worth a try for me. But if we don't, I'm perfectly okay with that and still happy.

I Hope You're Happy

It's obvious that "I hope you're happy" is not something any creature would say to someone who left them hurting, but this is sincere.

I couldn't say this right away, but now I seem prepared.
It's true I didn't want you to be happy without me, but acceptance is what I learned.
Now that I'm ready, prepare at least an ear.
Listen to my message that's really sincere.

This comes from a part of me that's very hard to reach.

This comes from a part of me you also once reached.

This comes from a part of me where it is ego-free.

This comes from a part of me where you'll always be.

I hope you're happy, that's from the bottom of my heart.