I personally think it's in the nature of humans that we overthink situations. It sucks, it really does. But here are some of the things that are for sure:
It's not your fault somebody's life ended. Seriously. Just because you're the last person who had a conversation with that lad who just committed suicide across the street doesn't mean it's your fault. You didn't take that lad to a place devoid of hope so don't blame yourself. Stop it, really. It's not your fault the lad's mind wage war on their body and unfortunately won. The death of your grandmother who's been on life support since the last three months isn't your fault. It's not her fault she couldn't win against her illness and just because you're assigned to take care of her yesterday when she died doesn't mean it's your fault her life ended. It's not your fault you couldn't save her. Someone up there has scheduled it already, and no matter how much you don't want to let your grandmother die, or no matter how much you love her, you will never have more control than fate nor the One above.
It's not your fault your friend or ex was unfaithful to you. Don't tell me you've been such a horrible friend or significant other because darling you are not! It's not your fault they wasted the trust you have given them carefully. People's betrayal would never ever define who you are, sweetie. It's not because you weren't beautiful enough. Not because you weren't sexual enough and most certainly not because you weren't smart enough. It is not your fault they did such thing.
It is not your fault you're somehow inclined. You may think differently than the people around you. You might be more emotional, you might love a little bit more intensely but it is surely not your fault! All of us were born with our strengths. We are all uniquely made and it isn't your fault! It is just your job to use your gifts in the best way you can. Remember this, what you are is not going to be your fault neither is what you are not.
It is never going to be your fault somebody hates you. STOP TAKING ALL THE BLAME! Sure, we all have negatives on us. We can be so kind and so apologetic to minimize the people hating on us. But let's face it. When the sun sets, hatred is always a choice one chooses. See that? It is not your fault they hate you, it is theirs. We cannot control the acidity running through their veins as much as we can't control the beat of their heart. The owner of the body and soul is the only one able to choose what type of feeling to release. It is not your fault they chose to release hatred.
Struggling with mental health? You are not to be blamed! Have lapses? Deficiency? Or over abundance of fluids in your brain? Not your fault! It is not your fault that our brain is created in a way it has patterns; normal and abnormal. You are not to be blamed for your mental illness as cancer patients are not to be blamed of their illness.
Someone took advantage of you? You are certainly not to be blamed! You might still be too naive but it isn't your fault you didn't know better. It is not your fault there are people crooked in this world. So cruel and dishonest that they thought you might be someone they can take advantage of. You are not responsible of their hideous actions and what they did to you is certainly not your fault!
You are not to be blamed when you didn't do or say more when you didn't know it was your last chance. Nobody knows when it's their last. Chances and opportunities are so unpredictable. There will be times when you wouldn't say or do everything you wanted to do or say because you still wanted to make sure you want to do it with all your heart but you'll never know when it's your last. You shouldn't blame yourself just because someone stepped out of your life way too earlier than you expect them to do. It's not your fault you didn't tell them how much you love them the time you saw each other, you didn't honor them and didn't tell them they're forgiven because you didn't know it was your last chance. It's so sudden and unexpected, you didn't know, so it's definitely fine. Stop blaming yourself. It's an untimely end so it's not your fault for not predicting it.
It isn't your fault you didn't feel what you wanted to feel towards somebody. There's this thing called mind over matter. But when it comes to feelings, you can't always lie. You wanted to feel a certain feeling for some reason, but it isn't what you're feeling. It's not your fault. We are not wired to love people just because they are kind, or because they know our favorite color or because someone has a direction in life. It is not your fault that your heart beats faster to people more imperfect than who your mother wants you to be with. Who you love is an outcome or reflection of who compliments you and makes you someone better. You are not to be blamed for that.
You are not at fault that you are not who someone wants you to be. Society will surely demand a lot of things. People will have high expectations from you but you are not at fault for choosing not to live with their expectations. You are not at fault that your natural inclinations doesn't align with the society's definition of perfect. It's not your responsibility to waste your life trying to be someone else's version of enough or perfect. Don't blame yourself you didn't become who they want you to be.
It's not your fault someone doesn't love you the way you want them to. Someone else's love isn't entitled to you just because you giggled at the right time nor because you sent him just the right amount of messages. Just look at it this way... you might be the most expensive and brightest gold in the whole world, but there's always going to be somebody who would prefer silver. You might be a comfy bed, but somebody's always going to choose to sleep on the floor than on a bed and guess what? YOU ARE NOT TO BE BLAMED.
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